The Tempest Diaries

Shaming society, one asshole at a time
courtesy of victoriakayak.com

No More Feeding the Wild Animals

Life is too short to be anyone but me. Not you guys, I mean – you TOTALLY be you – there’s at least one too many of me roaming the corn fields. We shouldn’t want to be each other anyway because if we were all the same we’d all be SUPER bored. Unless we were […]

courtesy of http://www.betteridaho.org/2015/05/i-see-crazy-people/

I See Crazy People

I walk amongst aliens. From people complaining about the music in a live music venue, to a customer at a restaurant asking a waitress to explain the entire menu when it’s written very clearly in said menu (and said person is not blind), to people taking “sexy” selfies and thinking they look like anything other […]

Saw

Let’s Play a Game…

I’ve never understood people who ignore or fail to notice social cues. Don’t we learn this as children when mommy and daddy are fucking pissed because we spilled our Cocoa Puffs and chocolate milk all over the remote control? We spill, we know we’re fucked, we see the looks of disgust and anger on their […]

Photo courtesy of andriodheadlines.com

My Drunk Honest Take Home From The Grammys

  Miranda Lambert killed it. The hair, the outfit, the boots, the cussing that CBS had to bleep out, thereby freaking out a bunch of bible beating, fat, white editors. Loved it. Arriana Grande being nominated for Album of the Year is why we’re at war with other countries, baby puppies die,  and we’re a […]

Courtesy of Shutterstock

27 Coupons

  Fine, I get it. You’ve got six kids, a slack-ass husband, and your parents didn’t raise you right. It’s not your fault (except for the six kids and slack-ass husband, that’s totally your fault) that you think it’s okay to use 27 coupons when you’re in line at a grocery store and there are […]

courtesy of Horrortaxi

Do You Smell Like Poo?

I’ve been thinking about mental illness lately – no, not mental illness, just ill ways of thinking – probably because of my stupid fucking neighbor and his totally bizarro behavior, but also because it seems to be a mainstream issue in our abundantly burdened society. It seems to me that the vast majority of people […]

courtesy of Laura Blume

Don’t be THAT Asshole

The problem here, besides this bullshit Word formatting issue I’m having, is that I DO believe you are responsible for your own behavior. Oh, thank fuck, I fixed it. Not the behavior part, the Word formatting. Formatting takes precedence over behavior. I’ve struggled with this concept in the past because I also believe that no […]

courtesy of Alex E. Proimos

Today, I Le Suck

So this is me today: I just want to sit here, in this restaurant with my glass of wine, and look like I’m writing, since I can’t remember how to actually write, but luckily I can remember how to drink. It’s not so much a thing of “being afraid to put myself out there” kind […]

courtesy of Nick.Fisher

I Don’t Care if You’re Offended

I believe that the purpose of writing is to evoke emotions. Well that, the bonus of getting a total lady boner for seeing my brilliant thoughts in print, and also it’s fun to plant things in people’s heads that weren’t there before. Like a massive pink bunny orgy, in a lush, green meadow next to […]

courtesy of owenbrown

Why I Hate Facebook and You

Click ‘like’ if you think Jesus wasn’t a homophobe? Fuck Jesus, does it even matter if he wasn’t a homophobe? I’m not even entirely sure the guy existed let alone if he was okay with a little sexy man on man or lady on lady love. Why in the hell would I ‘like’ something that […]

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